Anderson Cooper Joins The View?

Written by Jess HildsencloseAuthor: Jess Name: Jess Hildsen
Email: jnjn1013@gmail.com
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About: See Authors Posts (1) on September 1, 2009

"I wonder if my audience wants to hear the news or me talk about a celebrity that I don't like. Man I love the sound of my voice."

Surely you know who D-List celebrities Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag (Speidi) are? Lindsay Lohan? And what about CNN’s Anderson Cooper? Of course you knew they were all connected…

Right?

It’s true. They are connected because CNN’s Anderson Cooper likes to attack them and other pop culture stories in a way that is non-becoming for a real “newsman.”

Recently, Cooper has habitually gossiped and ranted about celebrities just how a 14 year old schoolgirl does, on national television. No offense to schoolgirls (I was one too).

Last week Anderson Cooper ranted about Heidi Montag, essentially calling her a worthless piece of trash. But here is Anderson’s idiocy; he says that,

“…I don’t really know who this person is, nor why she’s pretending to be a singer, nor why anyone should actually listen to her, but apparently she’s famous, she’s so famous she actually twitters…”

So let’s get this straight. He doesn’t think anyone should listen to her and doesn’t know why she’s a celebrity. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say she’s famous and people pay attention to her because idiots like Anderson Cooper, who are supposed to be reporting the real news, blab about her on CNN in front of a gigantic audience.

Great job Anderson. You just gave her millions worth of publicity simply because you wanted to hear yourself talk.

It gets better.

In response to Cooper, Heidi remarked,

Oh my God, I love it. I am so incredibly flattered that he’s talking about the first performance I’ve ever done, that he’s talking about me, that he knows who I am. Who gets on CNN? Britney, when she shaved her head, gets on CNN. That’s all that matters: Heidi, CNN, Anderson Cooper. Done.

I’d never performed before, not even in front of even ten people! Praise God. I had so much fun. Look at everyone’s first performances – look at Britney’s first performance or Lady Gaga’s, even. These girls were hardly even dancing. Britney did a couple little moves; it took her two years to start dancing like I did that first night. And I didn’t mess up one move, I had so much fun, it was such a blessing. I was praying so hard, and I couldn’t have done better. It was miraculous!

Spencer, [Heidi's husband] (of course) also threw in his two cents. He said,

He’s got his producers, and that’s what they want to cover? Go for it. I just find it funny that [CNN] is supposed to be the most serious, hard-hitting news. It’s crazy that he doesn’t have something else to talk about, like CIA torture or healthcare. It’s bizarre when that many seconds are spent being negative about celebrities. It’s silly, but hey, I would have paid him to do it.

So Anderson Cooper gets made a fool by the D-List couple while giving them millions of dollars worth of publicity.

While we in the media industry understand that everyone likes to voice their opinions on ridiculous celebrities, there has to be some sense of integrity. As for Anderson, who is “supposed” to be this generation’s new newsman, his giddy eagerness to give ridiculous D-Listers coverage is amateurish and depressing; especially coming from a station that is falling far from it’s hayday as a credible and reputable news source.

In a media age filled with arbitrary pundits and ladder climbers looking to move up the media hierarchy by shock and awe pop culture commentary, we are in need of a true newsman. When Anderson broke onto the scene, people were thought that he would be this new newsman. But with foolish misdirection, he’s a news anchor, a field reporter, a field investigator, a sometimes day show host and lately a pop culture gossip queen.

I suppose this begs the question: Does CNN, so desperately lacking in on-air talent, feel the need to use Anderson Cooper for everything? Or is Anderson just not able to contain himself to one focus at the expense of his reputation as a newsman?

Either way, I have a proposal. He should join the cast of The View. It makes sense. Anderson Cooper is a silver fox who really thinks he’s the media man of the world; and he does seem to be everywhere. But since he is clearly not going to fill the void of a real newsman, let’s put him where he fits best, “commentary and gossip on all things pop culture and news.”

There are many parallels. The catty women of the view love to hear themselves talk, discuss frivolous things and draw tons of attention to items they don’t think should have attention. They can gossip for days without taking a breath, and through it all, they think America adores them.

Yep, Anderson would fit in perfectly.