Ultimate Fighter 10 Episode 7: Voices In My Head (VIDEO)

Written by Ryan Anthony on October 29, 2009

As I sit here furiously typing this out tonight, none but the Real Slim Shady himself is commercially advertising DJ Hero from the next room. With a title bringing to mind straightjackets and shock therapy that Marshall would no doubt possess an Eagle Scout badge in, and partly because of the hype surrounding today’s episode, this writer expects nothing but the most insane and amazing developments to adorn the week’s festival of fists.

We open on Rashad joking around with the assistant coaches, and Rampage pantomiming an Evans beaten to the point of incoherence. This quickly gives way to an announcement of twin match-ups, in which the coaches get each other’s blood supplies boiling again. NFL veteran Matt Mitrione is to be matched up with Scott Junk, and Mike Wessel vs. Big Baby Jones.

So far in this episode, the two head honchos have done nothing but bite and claw at each other’s throats. It sounds like trying to get a word in edgewise on Bob Beckel, multiplied by a stay on the Jerry Springer show and subtracted by a closed mouth.

There’s a word for what Rampage is doing and that is fronting. As the old saying goes, don’t write checks with your mouth that your ass can’t cash. I would ask if I’m alone in thinking these two are going to snap, but it looks like that’s happened already.

Over to the Ultimate Fighter house, with sweet pictures of devil monkeys covering the walls, each taking their own place in the Nipponese adage of “see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.”

Team Rampage members chat among themselves beside a sleeping Abe, with blinds drawn to collude in what I will from now on call the RUMPUS ROOM OF BLOOD. And for good reason. The Team Rashad bus is bumping along at a speed of five miles per hour, relishing itself in its new paint job of Mike’s discombobulated remains and bodily liquids. Ouch.

(Obviously, no one’s listening. What else is new?)

Matt is back to screwing around with the teams, but this time, however, he tried to take the honor of Mike Wessel with him in a written barf bag. No one here knows if Matt was hoping to put the proverbial Humpty Dumpty back together and fight Jones like he should have before. One thing’s for sure, though. All was not well between Mitrione – who seems to be playing the game but, like that girl on the Biggest Loser, getting screwed in the process – and Junk.

Training for Team Rampage comes and goes without major incident, during which Abe shows off his newly healed skull in prognostication of punching machine Scott’s victory.

After some eats back at the house on day two, Sugar’s team is hard at work – in some cases maybe too hard. Matt’s mouth guard flies out and he subjects everyone within earshot to a Class A tantrum instigated by his fellow team member Madsen, which causes Rashad to bring him aside and promptly cuss him out. If Matt lets his heart overrule his head in the Octagon, it’ll be bad news.

Day three and time for our fights. Everyone from Shivers to Rampage looks on as the two thirty-year olds ready themselves for combat.

Round One: Scott flails around for a while, delivers a few kicks and falls on his back twice in twenty seconds. A few punches toward his head @ 3:30 will set the tone for the rest of the round, and Matt will mostly be in control of things, although that doesn’t stop the Punk from grabbing at his leg like a lost five-year old come 2:31. That, thankfully, is resolved by a quick limp toward the side of the cage. More punches are traded, although not many of Scott’s – who is showing exhaustion around the last couple of minutes – seem to land. He gets some lucky ones in, to be sure, but by ten seconds to the end of the clock neither of them have much left.

Round two, Scene one: ACTION! Well, not a whole lot of it, anyway. Scott finally finds his cojones, but its not enough to stop the rat from being around another week. Judges decide 19-19, 20-18, 20-18 for Matt, whose win provides Rampage with the energy he needs to start throwing around water bottles and trashing the gym.

Was the door-pwnage what they meant by “the most explosive fight of the season?” COME ON! It was more entertaining to watch Abe’s head become one with the blue fabric!