TOTUS BLOG: Hilarity Since 2008

  

97651 comment so farhttp://www.parcbench.com/2009/11/03/totus-blog-hilarity-since-2008/TOTUS+BLOG%3A+Hilarity+Since+20082009-11-03+14%3A24%3A33williamcollier

Written by William ColliercloseAuthor: williamcollier Name: William Collier
Email: jnjn1020@gmail.com
Site:
About: Retro wild man and wakeboarding phenom.See Authors Posts (43) on November 3, 2009

Any American who obsessively followed last year’s unfortunate Presidential election where Barack “Incompetence” Obama got elected had to have stumbled across the TOTUS blog.

TOTUS stands for “Teleprompter of the United States” and is a play off words from the widely used phrase “POTUS” which, obviously, stands for “President of the United States.

Why TOTUS? Simply because Barack Obama is incapable of giving a speech without his multiple teleprompters. His reliance on them is well chronicled…

But no one’s chronicled the hilarity of Obama’s reliance quite like the TOTUS Blog.

I’ve attached a few posts below so you can enjoy some of them. They are quite funny and with many updates a month, it’s definitely a blog you should keep up with.

I’ve told my bosses here at Parcbench to start posting new entries in ParcLIVE! as well.

The newest from TOTUS (Teleprompter of the United States)

So Much for Pencil-Pushers …

Big Guy pulled all of us into the Oval this morning after reading all of the morning clips and talking to his producer at MSNBC.  He was really concerned about the press coverage of his Economic Stimulus and Jobs Creation and Salvation announcement yesterday.

Gibbsy was concerned too. He said that Joey B’s comments that reporters were perpetrating “calculator abuse” to disprove the jobs-saved numbers has all of the electronics-rights people up in arms.  That was all Big Guy had to hear to jump into action. He issues a Presidential Order that ended the issuance of all government reports that require any form of mathematical formulation.

All I can say, is where the hell has that electronics-rights group been for me the past two years?

Outrage at MSNBC

Frankly I’m outraged by this report that MSNBC is going on a witch hunt for racist Teleprompters. After all, it’s not like we’re programmed or wired that way.

How about investigating all those newsreaders who say that they can’t tell the difference between one Teleprompter or another because “all the screens look alike”? Hmm?

Still, I’ll give you this, none of this explains Keith Olbermann. I mean, there is no way a person could be both that crazy and that insipid; maybe he does have a faulty Teleprompter feeding him that clap trap that even Big Guy doesn’t believe. We spent about two and a half hours with the man last week in the Oval, and beyond his very odd appearance – short legs, long torso and big head – his sycophancy, and his obliviousness as he stuffed boxes of White House M&Ms in his pants, the man is just plain bat*@*# crazy, and he apparently thinks he’s Santa Claus, because he told Big Guy, “I’m making a list and checking it twice,” and winked on his way out the door with double the Secret Service detail that brought him in. But I digress.

I guess my message to you is this: Teleprompters don’t make newscasters racists … people who load text into our hard drives just make newscasters stupid. And all of this is an alarming turn for Big Guy, because we’ve depended on these newscasters for so much of late. I mean, if they start doubting what the see on their Teleprompter screens, what’s next? Questions at Big Guy’s Prime Time Teleprompter readings?

Here, one of his teleprompters breaks down and as he desperately searches for others it’s like listening to a train wreck.

Those are just two sample posts but go check out the blog to read more.

Below I’ve thrown in a few videos about Obama’s wonderful speaking skills. I do wonder where he’d be if they hadn’t invented the teleprompter.

—

Of course, even David Letterman started ragging on him:

Related Articles

Obama’s tips for Tiger

RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH: Jon Stewart Takes The Precious Back From Obama (video)

NAILIN’ PALIN AIN’T SO EASY

Oprah Announces Candidacy for Pope

Obama iBranding on TV (VIDEO)