Parcbench is a hard hitting, fact finding, truth spilling machine. It is not some kind of gossip rag like Us Weekly or the New York Times. For example, we passed on the New York Times story that reported Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin’s son Trigg is actually a robot created by Exxon Mobil. (but we’ll make up for it, trust us.)
Today I was given a 25 Random Things About Me authored by the Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi.* The person who gave me this letter wanted to remain anonymous. From now on, he or she will be referred to as Deep Throat 2, the Wrath of Kahn. I will post it below, and hope that you learn something about our Madam Speaker.
25 Random Things About Me – Nancy Pelosi
1. I am Speaker of the House.
2. I once asked George W. Bush “boxers or briefs?”
3. I count Harry Reids when I can’t sleep at night.
4. I think abortion should be legal up to the 53rd trimester.
5. I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.
6. I get 500 million and 500 thousand mixed up.
7. I spend 500 million like it’s 500 thousand.
8. I love Aquanet! (Editor’s note, this was reported earlier in a Fingersmalloy.com exclusive.)
9. My favorite band is Dexy’s Midnight Runners.
10. I’m watching you.
11. Yes you.
12. For years I thought Majority Whip was a dessert topping.
13. Barack Obama is my BFF and he is like, TOTALLY a cutie.
14. I put orange marmalade on everything.
15. I brake for bingo.
16. I once played 7 minutes in heaven with Ted Kennedy.
17. I once vomited after 7 minutes in heaven with Ted Kennedy.
18. OMG! Bill Clinton just walked into my office and offered to show me his stimulus package.
19. I live in San Francisco; there is nothing funny about that.
20. I own a time share in Florida with Rush Limbaugh (shh, don’t tell anyone.)
21. I own a Hummer H3, but to make up for it I hug a tree daily.
22. For six years I had a secret crush on Dick Cheney.
23. I have 1 tattoo. It is a tramp stamp of Tip O’Neill’s face.
24. I call my husband Stedman just to piss him off.
25. I get all of my pop culture news from Parcbench.com
* Warning! May not have been written by Speaker Pelosi. Fingers Malloy gets all of his news sources from the same place MSNBC does, Wikipedia.
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Fingers Malloy is the host of The Snark Factor with Fingers Malloy heard every Monday and Wednesday at 8PM EDT on www.rfcradio.com. His website is www.fingersmalloy.com
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