Ultimate Fighter 10 Episode 11: Road to the Finale

Written by Ryan AnthonycloseAuthor: Ryan Anthony Name: Ryan Anthony
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About: 25 year old Tennessee resident and small government conservative. I first discovered my love of writing while working for a high school newspaper; that was eight years ago. Now I'm studying for an Associate's Degree in journalism. My favorite topics to cover for Parcbench include contact sports and television.See Authors Posts (34) on December 3, 2009

Seeing as this is the last episode of TUF before its Saturday finale, I reckon it’s time for a celebration. In true Ultimate Fighter style, though, it’ll work according to “last man standing” rules – I’m going to be recounting two hours and four fights for you. Ready?

Okay, we all know Matt’s on thin ice, right? Well, it doesn’t take long before the perplexed Dana takes Kimbo – recently declared arthritic – aside to grill him over the possibility of his return. Given recent events (and his own feelings) the big man turns it down, finally ending speculation and bringing his season to a close.

Matt has a heart-to-heart with his doctor, which doesn’t change Rashad’s mind about the former’s cowardice.

Hectic training precedes an earth-shaking revelation: a detached retina suffered in his fight with Matt earlier on in the season may be a career-ender for Scott Junk. Seriously now, where’s the justice in the world? The guy who actually wants to win; isn’t willing to play on his bad luck as an excuse for sympathy; refuses to quit, and shows some maturity has to bow out – while the guy that doesn’t deserve to be in it put him there?! The guy who expects not only us, but himself, to believe a good sleep will cure a concussion?

What are we, stupid? That’s got to hurt.

Marcus – one of Scott’s closest friends – has a homicidal bitch fit on Matt in response. ‘Course, Big Baby may just have jumped the gun: Roy, Kimbo and a sunglass-sporting Scott exchange jubilant fist-bumps post commercial break. Whither the source of their happiness?

Apparently the injury isn’t a career ender at all, but it’ll put Junk out of commission for two months.

Better than the alternative.

The usual locking of eyes pre-fight ends as McSweeney pushes Matt backward in a localized explosion of anger and forbearance of things to come. On fight day, possibly as a result, Team Rashad’s pariah gets a drive to the gym by himself. We can never be too careful.

Matt and James square off in the third quarterfinal fight, first round of which sees the tattooed Briton going crazy with his feet, but not connecting that much. Our rat didn’t seem like he was really doing anything either, although he DID capitalize on a couple of missed kicks. None of that would prove to save him, though, since Matt tapped out on his back with a minute and a half to spare in R1 due to choke hold.

And with that, thankfully, the two-faced little bitch is out of the running; James gets to prove the destructive force behind the verbal knives hurled at Matt last episode.

Justice, thy name is guillotine.

New commercial, new fight day, and better fight: Marcus Jones gets to lock horns with Darrill. They prepare, step into the Octagon, and get to roll around with each other on the mat for a full two minutes, by the end of which Darrill seems to be positively afraid of Jones, backing away like in front of a wild animal. And we all see Big Baby can fight – he wins the round shortly after that, earning the adulation of both Rashad and Dana.

Decisions come in near the end of the first hour on semifinal matches: Roy Nelson fights Matt’s worst nightmare; Brendan gets to take out (or be taken out by) Marcus.

Head honchos argue once more, and we take five until the end of the hour when gigantic stuffed animals play a role in yet another Team Rampage prank. This one, creatively enough, involves paint rollers and disco balls. Wes, following up on the nth in a series of playful joshes and soul crushing blows at the house, clues us in on what we knew all along: some people are just too trusting. Others – especially due to the rise of moral relativism and New Age spirituality – take the “unconstrained vision” postulated by Tom Sowell to an even higher extreme: failing to recognize anything but the greatest good, to their own peril.

Team Rashad discovers one of the deeds in question – which makes the Barbie dollhouse look like a G.I. Joe play set – and actually takes it in stride. The fighters sweat in practice until our next break, after which Zak J. attracts the ire of McSweeney. We then are treated to the sight of Jensen’s claustrophobia being exploited in the easiest way possible – with wooden objects.

This, although not the best tack, provides the oomph needed for the house’s resident diary keeper to get off his ass and start sticking up for himself.

Before long, Roy and James are front-row participants in their own match up. Neither of them have the popcorn, but that’s OK – it’s replaced by McSweeney’s chin, being soaked by the butter and lard that is Big Country’s fist. This, of course, results in an easy win for Roy just after the one minute mark.

Where’s the microwave?

Next square-dance, that of the coaches staring each other down. Then, a whole bunch of other stuff flies past our radar and we’re taken to the second semi-final fight between Jones and 4-0 CU alumni Schaub. First round is taken to the mat in blazing-fast speed by Marcus, who keeps Brendan under his thumb until the close of the third minute, after which the man rebounds quickly and pounds the living dirt out of Big Baby for twenty more seconds.

Jones’ luck expires and the fight is stopped: The B-man pulls the “W” out of thin air.

And this, needless to say, results in Rampage swallowing his heart. I probably don’t want to know what it was doing in his mouth in the first place.

Guess this means Brendan and Roy will headline the Evans-Jackson feud at the Palms this weekend. And if the guy with the worst physique in sports loses the brawl, I’m sure there are always other venues willing to pick him up.

Such as the Biggest Loser campus.