The Ladies Room: You are not a Lady, young Lady.

Written by Kristyn OstmancloseAuthor: Kristyn Ostman Name: Kristyn Ostman
Email: kristyn@parcbench.com
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About: Kristyn is a writer, an accountant an avid fan of rock music. She dreams of one day owning dishwasher. She enjoys reading Ayn Rand and Chelsea Handler. Unfortunately, she has never developed a taste for fine wines but cannot live without coffee. -Become a Fan of Kristyn Ostman on Facebook!See Authors Posts (47) on February 4, 2010

Miley Cyrus’s little sister has developed a kid’s clothing line…with fishnets. She’s nine. Is anyone surprised?

Noah Cyrus and her best friend, Emily Grace Reaves, have put together a sweet line called Ooh! La, La! Couture. First off, I’m having trouble loading the site. (Likely because it is overrun with pedophiles.) All the outfits I’ve seen look like something from Toddlers & Tiaras. I feel dirty. The abundance of frilly skirts screams, “Mamma’s living vicariously through my already wasted life.”

As I write this, I look back at the half-loaded site and I think that somewhere there’s an alarm going off in an FBI computer crime lab.

Most of the line involves pink, tulle and dazzling prints. Still, something is inherently disturbing. Maybe it’s the name. Some articles are calling it lingerie…gross. In actuality, it looks reminiscent of the ruffled dresses that came with the My Size Barbie. (Seriously, how is a miniture mannequin considered a toy?)

Will there ever be an end to how creepy Billy Ray Cyrus allows his daughters to get? I know he and the Bride of Cyrus will claim the kids want this. They want to have unsettling photo shoots with dad. They want to start a To Catch a Predator clothing line.

When I was nine, I wanted a dog. Should have aimed higher, I might have been millionaire jailbait too. I think I’ve found my new Lohan!