They Are The World? Really? On What Planet?

Written by Greg VictorcloseAuthor: Greg Victor Name: Greg Victor
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About: Greg Victor (Parcbench Culture Editor) is a historian, pop culture critic, and theatrical dramaturg and has stage managed theatrical productions on Broadway and on tour, including Billy Joel's "Movin' Out", Monty Python's "Spamalot" and more.See Authors Posts (97) on February 8, 2010

If “they” are the world, please stop the world and let me get off. Yes, I understand that it’s all for a good cause, but there are some other things about this self-important orgy that simply have to be said.

This week, 80 music celebrities (and a few bonafide musical artists) gathered at the same Hollywood recording studio where the original “We Are the World” was recorded and wailed their self-congratulatory catharsis on cue.

Producer Quincy Jones, who produced the original “We Are the World” benefit for South Africa said: “It’s the 25th anniversary (of the 1985 song) and it’s perfect timing. It’s not an accident, man. That’s God. It will be ‘We Are the World’ for Haiti.”

Seriously? Has Quincy been hanging out with Pat Robertson?

All profits made from the song will go toward relief efforts in Haiti. But the real story here is that so many music stars got to make yet another tragedy be all about them. To record the song wasn’t enough, as usual. Nope, it seemed to be all about the publicity and the placement of who was sandwiched in between whom.

Just think – Justin Bieber got to lay down a track with Kanye West, Snoop Dogg, Jeff Bridges (clearly campaigning for his Best Actor Oscar), and LL Cool J. As Bieber’s “tweet” stated: One of the greatest experiences of my life – singing WE ARE THE WORLD with all those stars and taking directions from the greats.” Hey, cool – thanks Haiti! Wonder if he got to meet Miley Cyrus…

Also there: Barbra Streisand (who?), Celine Dion (Barbra 2.0) and Vince Vaughn (now there’s no way you can tell me this was all about the music). The no-shows: Taylor Swift, Justin Timberlake, and Beyonce. But then again, they probably heard that Vince Vaughn was coming and figured they’d be shown up by his singing chops.

“We Are The World: The Remake” will premiere at the opening ceremonies of the Winter Olympics on February 12th. With all those egos in one place it’s a miracle in itself that any work got done. But with all this talent, there was no way they could come up with an original song? Really?! Doesn’t this tragedy deserve better than a 25-year-old anthem?

Oh yeah. One more thing – Kanye West will also release “I AM THE WORLD” the following day.

Maybe Taylor Swift will show up for that one. Then again, maybe just Beyonce will.