A Look at the Super Blah Ads

Written by Sid BridgecloseAuthor: Sid Bridge Name: Sid Bridge
Email: sid@thesidagency.com
Site: http://www.theendive.com
About: Sid Bridge, APR is Senior Editor for Parcbench. He is also Editor-in-Chief of The Endive, an online humor magazine for conservatives. As Parcbench's Senior Editor, Sid enjoys working with a diverse team of writers, each with his or her own unique personality. Sid is a happily married father of four, and a rare breed - an orthodox Jew who likes muscle cars and wears cowboy boots.See Authors Posts (74) on February 9, 2010

For two years running, the game has been more exciting than the ads. Good for football, not so good for those of us who watch for the ads.

As a hardworking humorist (check out my web site, The Endive (Cha-ching!)) who has worked in advertising, I don’t have much patience for a company who blows a million bucks on a Super Bowl ad only to have the jokes fall flat.

Here’s a rundown of the main players in Super Bowl advertising last night.

Focus on the Family’s pro-life ad featuring Tim Tebow: I was disappointed because Focus on the Family knew this ad was going to offend people and they took the high road by trying not to offend. Of course it didn’t work and everybody’s offended anyway. If you’re going to offend the thought police with a bold, brave ad like this one, why not really SAY WHAT YOU THINK?!

HomeAway’s ad featuring Chevy Chase and Beverly D’Angelo: The 1980’s geek in me flipped out when I saw the family truckster cruising down the road. I knew from previews that this ad would feature the Griswolds, but it really didn’t. I just featured the mummified remains of Chevy Chase standing there looking dumbfounded while his hotel abused him. Then it tried to tease us into going to a web site for more. More what? It was also a little difficult seeing a 100-year-old Chevy Chase next to Beverly D’Angelo, who still looks like she’s in her 40’s thanks to plastic surgery.  Oh, and for the record, I did NOT remember Homeaway’s name after the ad, nor could I tell you what the hell they do.

U.S. Census Bureau’s ad for the 2010 head count: My dear friends, you should have been mad as hell when you heard about the creation of this ad and even madder after viewing it. This campaign is nothing but a profound waste of money and a thinly veiled attempt at manipulating the results of the census. You can’t target everyone equally with ANY form of advertising, so the only purpose of an ad is to motivate a certain demographic into becoming interested in the census. In our case, a very liberal demographic. The ad also featured the directorial talent of Christopher Guest, which is neat, except most people just don’t get his humor. By the way, who wants to see Ed Begley, Jr. during the Super Bowl? Anybody?

Bridgestone’s tire ads: The Killer Whale ad was pretty funny. Well, somewhat funny. The post-apocalyptic ad made no sense at all and had a weak punchline. Both ads made me feel good about shoeing a car with BF Goodrich tires.

Dodge’s ‘The Passion of the Dodge’: As this ad laid out a never-ending stream of woman-hating thoughts, one of the women watching the game looked at the rest of us with incredulity and said, “What IS THIS?!” None of us could answer her until the ad was saved by the awesome Dodge Charger. Well, the Charger almost saved the ad. Most of us would have loved the ad just as much if it only showed pictures of the Charger. It would be the perfect sedan… if it were available with a 6-speed manual.

Bud Light’s ‘house of cans’ ad: This ad gets major credit for having the funniest line of all the Super Bowl ads. As everyone explores a house made entirely of ice-cold Bud Light cans and bottles, one man opens the fridge and shouts, “There’s Bud Light in the fridge, and it’s made of REAL Bud Light!” It was Budweiser’s only good ad of the night.

Dockers’ ‘men without pants’ ad: What in the blue hell was the point of making us this ill? It was our second pants-less guy ad of the night and we were all trying to eat barbecued beef, kielbasa and copious side dishes. Dockers, I hate you and your pants.

Audi’s green car ad: This one started out promising for conservatives. The “Green Police” run around and enforce ridiculous green laws. It looked as though someone was finally trying to point out the craziness of the green movement. Instead of giving the green police their just desserts, we get the big swerve as Audi reveals its greenest car ever. The message? Environmentalists are annoying, so placate them. Where’s that Dodge Charger when you need it?

Coca-Cola’s ‘Sleepwalker’: This was a well-constructed, feel-good ad. It’s the kind of thing that Coca-Cola can keep in a trophy case next to the “I’d Like to Buy the World a Coke” chorus. Sometimes it’s okay not to go for the big laugh.

Coca-Cola’s ‘Hard Times’: This wasn’t one of those times where it’s okay not to go for the big laugh. This gloriously constructed and hyped ad featured the entire universe of The Simpson in rather unfamiliar territory – the realm of NOT FUNNY. It didn’t even solicit so much as a chuckle until Milhouse’s line at the end. Could this be the first time a TV show jumps the shark for a non-episode?

Hyundai’s 2020 Super Bowl ad featuring Brett Favre: It was funny, but Hyundai lost some steam by not surprising us. The rest of Hyundai’s ads were great because they put out a strong message of quality and personal investment in their vehicles while Toyota continues to apologize. Watch out for Hyundai. They are today what Toyota was in the mid 1980’s.

GoDaddy.com’s Danica Patrick ads: Was I the only one incredulous by the fact that Danica Patrick was never identified as a race car driver? Are we supposed to only see Danica as the GoDaddy girl? I guess these ads did what they were supposed to do – entice horny people to look for pornography on the internet. It’s definitely filling a void since we can’t get it in the halftime show anymore.

E*Trade’s talking babies: E*Trade’s talking babies were mildly funny last year. They needed something new this year. The spots were somewhat funny, but they blew an opportunity to launch a new campaign with a longer shelf-life.

As I look back at these ads, I still wonder what the hell happened? Was this the same Budweiser that brought us the frogs and the whassup guys? After the fact, quite a few agencies defended their work based on the demographics they were trying to reach. Their collective rhetoric made it clear that many of these ads were the product of metrics and design-by-committee, not pure creativity.

Advertising has, in many cases, been ruined by the science statistics. All the preparation in the world can’t substitute for a funny joke.

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Sid Bridge, APR is the Senior Editor of Parcbench and the Editor-in-Chief of The Endive, a political humor site. He’s also not a fun guy to sit next to during Super Bowl commercial breaks.