Hogwarts Fans Too Porky?

Heavy Harry Potter fans may need to whip out their wands and cast wingardium leviosa (the levitation charm for all you muggles) on themselves if they want to ride “Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey” at the recently opened Universal Studios’ “Wizarding World of Harry Potter” theme park in Orlando. It seems as if some Hogwarts fans are too porky to ride.

Americans, who rank ninth on Forbes list of “Worlds Fattest Countries,” can’t seem to squeeze into the ride’s seats. Thus, theme park workers won’t let guests ride if they can’t pass the “three-click” test. The safety belts must click three times to ensure riders are safe. Perhaps these people should exercise and lose some weight. Perhaps they should play a little Quidditch.

As soon as I heard the case of fat people not being able to get on this ride, I knew what was coming next: Lawsuits. Isn’t that sad that’s the first thing I thought of? What is our nation coming to? Irresponsible people engage in irresponsible acts and then want somebody else to take responsibility…and I’m not just talking about the Obama administration.

Yet, what I thought was coming never came. In fact, it was quite to the contrary. Like the Grinch not hearing the cries of the Whos, I too was shocked at one fan’s surprising response to being denied access to the ride because of his large girth.

Banks Lee (310 pounds) is using his failure at the “three-click” test as motivation to lose weight, become healthy, and get that third click so that he can experience the ride. He’s even started a blog about his “journey to fit on an enchanted bench.” Creatively, the blog’s title mirrors the Harry Potter titles: Banks Lee and The Three Clicks. He’s not mad at Universal either. He writes, “This blog is not to criticize Universal Orlando for not making the ride vehicles roomier. No, this blog is to chronicle my journey to get into shape.”

Wow. I’m utterly impressed at Mr. Lee’s class and work ethic. In a day and age, when it’s pathetically easy to sue somebody for one’s own irresponsibility, Mr. Lee is a role model for personal responsibility. Mr. Lee, you are a great American. I wish you the best of luck on your journey. With the gumption you have, I’m sure you won’t need any magic at all to accomplish your goal.

Geoff Burch

Geoff enjoys talking to strangers, spoiling his appetite, listening to loud music, dating girls, and doing everything else his mother once warned against. He has written short stories, poems, and a screenplay. He loves sports: athletic and political. Geoff lives by his own philosophy: When life gives you two choices, take the one that will make a better story.