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A Silent Night Alright

DaveRedl — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 13:55:59 +0000

The Vatican Has Found Satan & He’s In…The Vatican?

ParcLIVE! — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 13:11:27 +0000

The Vatican’s Chief Exorcist recently announced that if you are in fact looking for Satan, you’d have the best luck finding him in The Vatican itself. Since anything we could possibly say in regards to this is sure to offend someone, we’ll just play a little game of Father Gabriele says!

Father Gabriele Amorth said…

”people who are possessed by Satan vomit shards of glass and pieces of iron” …”sometimes rose petals”
“At times he (Satan) makes fun of me. But I’m a man who is happy in his work.”
“I am convinced that the Nazis were all possessed.”

Also mentioned (but slightly exaggerated) is Father Gabriele’s opinion that Harry Potter should be burnt at the stake.

FOR THE FULL STORY READ THE TELEGRAPH UK

SMOKING SAVES!

ParcLIVE! — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 12:48:52 +0000

…Well not really but it can drastically reduce the odds of both Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s Disease. That’s a start right? The Scientific community is adamant about being perfectly that they are NOT recommending that anyone begin smoking. However, for those of us carrying around the black lung anyways, at least we won’t rock the body shake or lose our minds! Who said Thanksgiving can’t be every day!? We’ll add that to the list of benefits of smoking (which are quickly catching up to the cons) which currently include being SUPER cool, and ‘But The President Does It’!

WIRED Magazine Takes On Andrew Breitbart

ParcLIVE! — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 12:33:41 +0000

Apparently WIRED Magazine (of whom we are obvious fans)are not even remotely covert fans of Andrew Breitbart (whom we also publicly support). In their recent scathing article they put Breitbart’s personality (or lack thereof)under the microscope with an emphasis on his heavy handed and borderline hypocritical tactics towards media domination. While one may be tempted to agree with them, at least from a ‘don’t know the guy can’t judge him’ point of view, it is a little irksome how frequently ‘Drudgereport’is mentioned and even more so how vehement their disdain for aggregators seems to be. We’d almost consider a ban on aggregating them, except we won’t, because they’re awesome. We will just have to agree to disagree and hope that their disapproval lies with the man and not the cause.

READ THE 4 PAGE LONG ARTICLE HERE

Puerto Rico Tosses Birth Certificates

ParcLIVE! — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 12:16:41 +0000

In an effort to combat identity theft, Puerto Rico has taken the rather ‘creative’ course of throwing out all current birth certificates. This means that every citizen (whether they live in the continental US or anywhere) will have to reapply for a birth certificate. Obviously not everyone is happy about this.

READ MORE AT TAMPA BAY ONLINE

Canada & The 9/11 Pig Roast

Miranda Sullivan — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 19:19:02 +0000

OH CANADA! Let us count the reasons to appreciate our jolly neighbors: breakfast buffets, big sexy drunken perpetual frat boys, trolley cars, head shops, their sense of humor, BEERFEST, their use of the word ‘aye’ (which is certain to pluck the heartstrings of even the biggest and meanest d-bags), and let us not forget eskimos! However, when it comes to tact, Canadians are continuing to fail at Shoots & Ladders with their current global rank. Their most recent offense is hosting a pig roast to raise money for The Saskatchewan Party, which is surprisingly a political party NOT a frat party (we told you they had eskimos), by featuring a 9/11 survivor, 9/11 themed rager, and the jolly flyer to the left. Take a moment, we needed one too.

Alright, all together now…OH CANADA…

READ MORE ON FOX

Diet Myths That May Be Ruining Your Life!

ParcLIVE! — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 17:07:01 +0000

You may have heard that blueberries are a great source for antioxidants (true), but you may not know that they are actually only superior in one specific type (also true), this actually makes dark chocolate (which is high in multiple strains) better for you than blueberries. Coffee does not dehydrate the regular drinker, those cons are reserved for new addicts. Follow the link below for other such discrepancies that could alleviate quite a bit of guilt while allowing for a much sweeter and enjoyable diet.

READ MORE AT THE DAILY MAIL UK

Lesbian Controversy Puts Kabosh On Prom

ParcLIVE! — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 16:37:52 +0000

It’s just another case of The Bible Belt versus The ACLU. A 17 year old Mississippi teen requested that she be allowed to wear a tuxedo to prom where she would accompany her female date (also a student) but while she was not exactly ‘denied’ her request, she was the catalyst for prom being canceled entirely. Perhaps if The ACLU had just stayed out of it the district would not have had an excuse to claim that public distractions were negatively affecting the educational process (the excuse for opting out of this years prom).

READ MORE ON YAHOO NEWS

US Department of Education Orders Shipment of Shotguns

ParcLIVE! — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 16:08:30 +0000

As a proponent of the 2nd amendment it can get a tad awkward when questioning a bulk Remington shotgun purchase, even when it’s by The Department of Education. So we just won’t. Especially since the threat of a new gothed out trench coat mafia remains viable. Still, don’t the security officers staffed out for these positions already come with guns? On a positive note, atleast they have good taste!! GO REMINGTON!

READ CONTRACT ORDER REQUEST

Happy Birthday (Yesterday), Chuck Norris!!

Sharon Osbourne To Auction Breast Implants On Ebay

ParcLIVE! — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 15:49:19 +0000

After two boob jobs, and half a million dollars in various attempts at self preservation at the hands of a knife, Ozzy’s better half is offering her unwanted implants to the highest bidding celebrity fanatic. Creepy? Maybe. But just wait, who wants to bet how soon her hubby starts auctioning partially digested animal parts for another desperate attempt at avoiding his imminent withdrawal from the limelight? Scoff away, but how many of us actually changed the channel when the profanity slinging clan hit the air??

READ MORE AT CELEBRITY MANIA