Canada & The 9/11 Pig Roast
by: MirandaSullivan
OH CANADA! Let us count the reasons to appreciate our jolly neighbors: breakfast buffets, big sexy drunken perpetual frat boys, trolley cars, head shops, their sense of humor, BEERFEST, their use of the word ‘aye’ (which is certain to pluck the heartstrings of even the biggest and meanest d-bags), and let us not forget eskimos! However, when it [...]
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Britain Lets Ireland Run Its’ Own Justice System. Thanks Guys!
On February 5, 2010 at 8:10 am
To be perfectly honest however, what does Ireland want with extra responsibility? They’ve had Britain to run things into the ground for the past 400 years while they play penny pipes and gorge themselves on fried objects of all persuasions. Does this mean that the last captive nation in Europe is free? Or is this [...]
In a Van Down By The River! (video)
On at 7:53 am
Thank G-d it’s Friday! Which means tomorrow’s Saturday and SNL is on Saturdays. So we’d like to pay homage to the best television show that currently blasphemes itself and remind our benchers of why & when it was pure genius. What’s your favorite SNL skit?
Notice That The First Cowboy To Draw Gets Shot? Here’s Why.
On at 7:46 am
Nobel Prize winning physicist, Niels Bohr, has proven that human beings react faster to impending danger than when performing deliberate actions. It’s just like the westerns in that the cowboy who draws first gets shot first. Intelligent Design or Evolution, either way it’s rather cool that we were given a safety precaution.
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China Will Not ‘Bow’ To Obama
On February 4, 2010 at 5:59 pm
China is currently not very thrilled to be receiving economic advice from The US. I’m sorry did we say advice? We meant criticism. Obama recently stopped ‘very’ short of stating that China manipulates it’s currency. We don’t necessarily fault him, but they do. Their response: ‘we will not bow to the pressure from The United [...]
Brain Control Can Save The Future
On at 8:25 am
Ever heard of Optogenetics? It’s the new badass science that utilizes algae and light to control your brain. Not kidding. For the past three years it has made broken mice walk (no idea where you get broken mice, that could make feeding paralyzed snakes a lot easier and far less dangerous). This is the future, [...]
‘White Powder Incident’ In NYC
On February 3, 2010 at 6:12 pm
Seven people have been quarantined after contact with an unidentified white powder in a building which houses government agencies. Gothamist picked up the story ala police scanners shortly after it happened in Lower Manhattan this afternoon. We wonder if there’s some pale intern stuffed in a closet somewhere battling with sleep deprivation and translating through [...]
Special Olympics Reject Apology
On at 5:22 pm
It’s no new news that Rahm Emanuel accused that liberals were “retarded.” What is new however, is the silly typical slimy politician efforts that have recently come to light. Yesterday an official representing Emanuel claimed that he had called Tim Shriver, apologized, and it was accepted. Except that he never called. And according to Special [...]
Military’s Top Uniformed Officer Speaks Out On DADT
On at 7:14 am
“You Don’t Have To Be Straight To Shoot Straight”
The top uniformed officer in our military has given his ‘personal’ opinion on the potential repeal of DADT and he says he is all for it. “For me, it comes down to integrity—theirs as individuals and ours as an institution,” says Admiral Mullen.
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Alice In Wonderland (trailer)
On at 7:06 am
Tim Burton’s newest endeavor attempts to deliver a continuation of the rather demented tale of Alice In Wonderland. With the world’s sexiest man (two times running) and a 3D option we can only assume it will gross rather high. And we sincerely hope it’s worth it. So we attached the trailer for your viewing pleasure. [...]
“Gays Too Precious To Risk In Combat” – Says General (video)
On February 2, 2010 at 7:50 pm
Latest Onion Video adressing ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’.
‘Gays Too Precious To Risk In Combat,’ Says General
