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Despicable Me (Film Review)
On July 9, 2010 at 7:37 am
After the unforgivable release of The Last Airbender, I felt confident I could leave this screening with far less of a headache this week. It was hard to have expectations for this film because of the year-long marketing campaign that still gave us no clue what this film was about. All I knew is that [...]
Rachel Maddow’s High School Yearbook Photo!
On July 8, 2010 at 6:48 pm
Yes, that is Rachel Maddow below and don’t deny it, she’s not bad lookin’ at all! It’s said that some people are just late bloomers; that guys who get slammed into lockers in high school need to “man up,” as it were, and wait a while. If eating seconds and bulking up doesn’t work, then [...]
VIDEO: New Facebook Movie Trailer
On at 11:39 am
Enjoy the newly released second trailer (and also the first) for the new movie based on the creation of Facebook, The Social Network. Second (New) Trailer First Trailer
The 2010 Primetime Emmy Nominations (LOOOOOOONG, but No Spoilers)
On at 10:42 am
OK, so we all know that on every other website you can find a list of the nominations in the most “important” categories, but here at Parcbench we thought we’d let the ridiculous speak for itself by simply presenting you with the ENTIRE list of nominations and categories. A “Best Commercial” Emmy? Seriously, Hollywood? What [...]
The Endive: Russians to Swap Bobby Fischer’s Carcass for Spies
On at 7:24 am
Humor from The Endive… A spy swap agreement was finalized with Russia to day to deport 10 alleged Russian spies in trade for the recently exhumed body of Chess legend Bobby Fischer. “The Russians have been very cooperative,” said Undersecretary of State for Political Affairs William Burns, “They wanted to get their boys out of [...]
Prince Declares Internet Dead, Shuts Off Life Support
On July 7, 2010 at 3:41 pm
Our second wacko of the week is the man who fancies himself the original sex poodle. With a wave of his purple wand, Prince has pronounced the Internet as over. In a confusing and amusing interview, given to the Mirror’s Peter Willis from Prince’s home base of Minnesota, the one formerly known as “Love Symbol [...]
A Hole In One On Tiger’s Wallet?
On at 7:50 am
In yet another potentially destructive relationship – you know, the one that came to the media’s attention before Kelsey Grammer and his wife – it’s proving obvious that women hold all the cards. Our seventh, month-long chapter of the Tiger Woods infidelity saga is at an end – with Swedish hottie Elin Nordegren obtaining $100 [...]
Wonder Woman’s New Look Likely to be Short-Lived
On at 7:26 am
It isn’t often that an American icon gets a head-to-toe makeover; when they do, it quickly becomes front-page news. Hence did the announcement of Wonder Woman’s chic new look become the buzz of the media, traveling far and beyond the reliably feverish precincts of global comic geekdom. Her sleek new couture will accompany a reinterpretation [...]
Bravo TV’s “Work Of Art” = Piece O’ Crap
On at 7:15 am
Somewhere Andy Warhol is laughing out loud. Somewhere Cezanne and Rembrandt are crying. And I’m getting in line to buy anything of artist Miles Mendenhall’s that I can afford. In spite of this show, I am enthusiastic about this guy’s future as an artist. For anyone who feels that art is in the eye of [...]
LiLo Is On Her Way To Jail-O
On July 6, 2010 at 10:14 pm
Lindsay Lohan is going to jail for violating probation on that 2007 drunk driving conviction. In Axel Foley’s adopted town of Beverly Hills, and in front of the usual battalion of cameras, she was called in front of Judge Marsha Revel of the LA Superior Court’s 2nd Department to answer for her idiocy. Of course, [...]
The Lilith Tour Doesn’t ‘Fare’ Very Well
On at 7:21 am
The female-centered music festival has announced the cancellation of 10 of its planned dates this month and in August. The canceled concerts were scheduled for Salt Lake City (July 12); Montreal (July 23); Raleigh, N.C. (Aug. 4); Charlotte, N.C. (Aug. 6); West Palm Beach, Fla. (Aug. 10); Tampa, Fla. (Aug. 11); Birmingham, Ala. (Aug. 12); [...]
Recasting Twilight
On at 7:16 am
The new Twilight film is smashing records at the box office, but it’s also getting some pretty tepid reviews. For this reason, the staff of Parcbench decided to help the franchise out a little bit by suggesting how to recast some of the main characters. Without any further ado, presenting our list of the week, [...]
Dave Chappelle: Celebrating His Independence From Maturity?
On at 7:13 am
Ringing in the Fourth of July weekend, politically incorrect comedian Dave Chappelle couldn’t wait to get his Cornholio on – scaring the pilot of his Ohio-bound passenger jet badly enough to be booted from the plane. The D.C.-born funny man, whose show ran for three years on Comedy Central, broke down on his private passenger [...]
3oh!3 – “Streets of Gold” (Music Review)
On at 6:53 am
** (out of 4 stars) Label: Photo Finish/Atlantic “I’m gonna have a house party / in my house, I’m gonna pour booze / down my mouth” … That’s a couple of the only lyric lines I can print here without offending someone. Sorry ThreeOh!Three, but like it or not you are still just a singles [...]
The Fifth “Final Destination” Film is Titled What?
On July 2, 2010 at 7:15 am
The Final Destination film series is anything but final as the fifth installment of the death-obsessed horror show has been confirmed, and it’s set to release on August 26, 2011. Yes, this is the fifth Final Destination, emphasis on “final.” Does that make any sense? Wait, it’s Hollywood…it never makes sense. How can a film [...]
The Last Airbender (Film Review)
On at 7:03 am
M. Night Shyamalan has been due for a comeback film for many years. The Sixth Sense was so long ago I’m afraid to ask if anyone remembers it. Signs was a good film, though after several misses he made The Happening, which at least was a step up from The Village. Shyamalan’s latest adventure is [...]
