“Alice in Wonderland” (Review) It’ Ain’t Your Mama’s Alice Anymore
by: Dr. LoreneWales
For those of you who may not be familiar with Burtons’ work, he is a writer, director, producer, and sometimes actor. Ever since he hit the mainstream with Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, he’s been entertaining audiences with his dark, wry humor and eclectic adaptations of classic stories. Films like Beetlejuice, Corpse Bride and Edward Scissorhands [...]
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Cowher Meets With The Bills
On January 5, 2010 at 10:47 am
According to ESPN Bill Cowher had a “stealth meeting” with the Bills. Buffalo’s Bills owner Ralph Wilson Jr. is on record saying he wants to make a splash with his next head coach. This is a stark contrast to what the Bills have done through out their history. The Bills are known for hiring cheap [...]
“THE YOUNG VICTORIA” (Film Review)
On at 5:10 am
* * * 1/2 (out of 4)
Rating: PG (sensuality, brief language and violence)
Director: Jean-Marc Vallée
“The Young Victoria” dusts off the portrait of a dowdy royal by focusing on her early life. Unfortunately, until she was Queen of England for several years, nothing worthy of making a film seemed to happen to her. It is an [...]
Lex Talionis
On January 4, 2010 at 11:02 am
I never thought that I’d say we should follow Pakistan’s model of justice, but I think they got it right on this one. Their “eye for an eye” justice, what’s also known as revenge punishment shows that they take crime pretty seriously. It would seem especially appropriate in this situation.
Fazeelat Bibi is a beautiful, 22-year-old [...]
JOB LISTINGS FOR TODAY’S YOUNG AMERICANS!
On at 10:42 am
Tired of being beat out for good jobs to Asian outsourcing? Illegal immigrants taking all the landscaping and domestic cleaning careers? We have scoured MUTANT.COM and come up with 5 jobs perfectly suited to the skill set of the modern American twentysomething. Don’t let the bad economy get you down! Apply for one of these [...]
Iranian Riot Police Beat Back Pro-Riot Police Protesters
On at 10:39 am
Satire from The Endive…
Blood ran on the streets of Iran again today as Iranian riot police used extreme violence to deal with throngs of people marching in support of Iranian riot police.
Emotions ran high as protesters hurled rocks, strong words and shoes.
“I am here to say that we fully support our riot police,” shouted Iranian [...]
Not Even Half a Man
On December 30, 2009 at 10:51 am
“My husband had me with a knife. I was afraid for my life, and he threatened me,” Brooke Mueller, 32, told the operator.
Unfortunately area operators are used to these sorts of calls when Charlie Sheen is around. In fact, none of Sheen’s wives are any strangers to domestic violence, the most recent incident occurring on [...]
Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins Split Up for Christmas
On December 29, 2009 at 11:53 am
Maybe they just don’t like spending money on Christmas presents. You never know, they might just hook up again once the 50% sales kick in. Whatever the case, he’s 51, and she’s 63. And after 23 painful-to-listen-to-on-the-red-carpet years, Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins – Hollywood’s reigning liberal power couple – are over.
And the liberals called [...]
Top Ten Bad Jokes of the Decade
On at 11:44 am
Since you’re browsing our website, which means that you have at least some desire to ingest current events from a source other than the mainstream media, we at Parcbench are going to assume you haven’t been living under a rock for the past ten years. As a pop culture outlet with our own distinctive flavor, [...]
NJ Lawmakers Ignorantly Out Of Touch Over Jersey Shore
On December 28, 2009 at 12:08 pm
New Jersey lawmakers, specifically the New Jersey Italian American Legislative Caucus, want the new MTV show “Jersey Shore” canceled because it makes Jersey and Italian-Americans look ridiculous…or perhaps they just feel excluded from the insane tan partying that happens on the shore?
In all seriousness, really?
Yes, really. And they are joined by the Italian American Heritage [...]
Follow A Felon On Facebook
On at 10:23 am
Craig Lazie Lynch is trying to create the stuff that legends are made of. His mantra is written on his Facebook page, “Life is what you make it, live fast, die young!!!” It seems he is living up to this. He is an escaped felon, blogging about life on the run. This story broke a [...]
Corpse of Billy Carter Found with White House Christmas Decorations
On at 9:50 am
Satire from The Endive…
The Obamas got an unexpected surprise when they went to decorate all 26 White House Christmas trees – the mummified corpse of former first brother Billy Carter.
Michelle Obama found the remains of the Billy Beer magnate as she was dragging out old Christmas decorations in order to reuse them – part of [...]
“Happy Nether Season”, Top Five of 2009
On December 26, 2009 at 7:26 pm
a production of XTREME MEDIA LLC of New York
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