On Monday you had an opportunity to see Old Dominion punch their ticket to the big dance. They beat a very good basketball team in William & Mary for the Colonial Athletic Association Championship! The student body stormed the court at the Richmond Coliseum and mayhem ensued. Even if you are not a fan of ODU or the CAA you get those goose bumps. That undeniable feeling of “wow that is awesome.”

If that wasn’t enough for one day the St. Mary’s Gaels upset the #14 Gonzaga Bulldogs for the West Coast Conference Championship. St. Mary’s might have been able to get in regardless but none the less they toppled the WCC powerhouse. It’s an accomplishment all to it’s self. If they did lose who knows maybe they don’t get a chance at the National Title you never know.

Some people will read this and say that for example, SEC football is religion down south. Absolutely it is entertaining, but what does an SEC championship mean if it doesn’t give you a chance at a national title? A BCS bowl? what is that? Can the team in the Rose Bowl beat the team in the national championship game? Of course they can but we will never know because…..well nobody knows why there isn’t a playoff.

Meanwhile in college basketball you have a chance to see the newly crowned Southern Conference Men’s champion Wofford take a stab at a national championship. Can they win? Probably not. Will it be freaking awesome to watch them try? YES! I would love to see Old Dominion University beat the 5th team from the Big East and advance to the second round of the NCAA Tournament. Then two days later they will play again! That’s right they will keep playing until they lose or win the whole thing.

Schools from these tiny conferences like the MAAC, SC, and the IVY league play their whole seasons for a chance to take home their conference championships. Do you think they would storm the court with such fervor and passion if the PopTart Bowl was what awaited them? I don’t. I know college football fans are passionate and they want their schools to be successful. I know they storm the goal posts after big wins but imagine what they would do if their conference championship gave them an automatic shot to play for a national championship.

Then maybe, just maybe college football bowl month could compare to basketball’s championship week and the NCAA tournament.

Here is to championship week, thank you. Thank you for letting the little guy get a crack at glory. Thank you for not getting me all excited as a fan just to see my school get invited to the “nobody gives  a shit bowl.”

Next up, The Big Dance!!

Continued from Part 2

Third Base – Know Your Enemy

Sure, you have to know your league’s rules.  You have to know the rules if you want to strategize accordingly, or if you want to curve them like a pitch by Josh Beckett.  But, it’s more than knowing how many bench players you’re afforded.  The key to knowing your league is knowing the managers.  And knowing your managers is an important key to success.

Fantasy baseball managers love to drop names and brag about their knowledge of America’s pastime.  They love sports.  Those who love sports never hold back their opinions, especially those in New England.  If you’ve ever talked debated shouted about sports with New Englanders, then you’ll know what I’m talking about.  Seriously, the next time you’re in Boston, ask anyone on the street about the Sox.  Don’t be fooled.  They are not, in fact, the manager.

Note what fellow league managers have said about certain teams or players.  Perhaps they have an affinity for a certain batter or a passion for a particular strategy.  Use that knowledge to your advantage to predict their draft picks and choose your players more wisely.  You could also get the upper hand in future trades by holding one of their favorites hostage.

For example, you’re in the draft and miss out on one of your targets.  Before you smash your computer to bits (pun intended), look at who is left.  You see a certain chubby first baseman of the Brewers available.  If you know another manager loves Prince “More to Love” Fielder, then you might want to snatch him and flip him to acquire the position you missed.

If it comes to your pick and there’s nothing that can help you, select a player that will help another team.  Keep track of the needs of other teams throughout the draft.  Then, try to make a trade later to help yourself.

Home Plate – Touch ‘em All

You’ve touched three of them:  Be a Good Student.  Draft Wisely.  Know Your Enemy.  Now, you’re only ninety feet from touching them all.  But, don’t take too big of a lead.  You can put in all the extra time researching, planning, and strategizing, but you have to follow through the entire season.

Be patient, be smart, and be attentive.  Remember that if you draft well, then you’ll save yourself from costly moves down the road.

Now, it’s up to you.  Only you can claim the crown.  Only you can charge into home plate.  Just make sure Carlton Fisk isn’t blocking it.

Batter up!

Second Base – Draft Wisely

There are three stages to a draft:  Diffusing Bombs (rounds 1-6), Playing the Field (rounds 7-14), and Diamonds in the Rough (rounds 15-21).  As brand names disappear in the draft, real skill and knowledge appear.

Diffusing Bombs is high-stakes.  You’ll draft your most productive players here, but beware of bombs.  You don’t want to spend a high draft pick on one.  Do spend high draft picks on players that can get four, if not five, of their respective categories.  Get your most productive players here, and get as many of them as possible regardless of position.  Once you got your stalwarts in the first stage, you’ll want to play the field.

Playing the field is about building a deep roster.  Throughout the season, your players will get injured.  They will miss games.  That’s the reality to this fantasy.  Also, your players will have days off in the schedule.  Do not draft several players from the same team or else there will be days when half or even more of your team isn’t playing.  Enter the Players of the Field.

During this stage, draft players that are eligible at multiple positions.  Although they aren’t top-tier producers, players like Chone Figgins and Mark DeRosa produce in another advantageous way:  they play the field.  They play multiple positions.  They date many women.  Maybe not the latter, but definitely the former.

Having a versatile bench helps you in several ways.  When other players miss games, you won’t miss a beat or miss acquiring statistics.  Your roster will be flexible to allow you to play pitching match-ups.  Some batters do better against certain pitchers or at certain parks.

Playing the field gives you options, so that you can play your best players each day.  If you can get more at-bats than your opponent, then you have a better chance of getting more statistics.  A better chance of winning.

Last, but not least, is Diamonds in the Rough.  By this point, you should have filled most, if not all, your starting roster spots.  You might even have some versatile bench players.  Some may consider this stage as garbage time, but it’s actually when you can find Diamonds in the Rough to play your virtual diamond.

You can now take chances on players you would’ve avoided earlier:  injury-prone, coming off surgery, coming off a down year, old, etc.  Target low risk/high reward players.  Perhaps they used to be studs, but suffered an injury or a couple bad seasons.  They might still have the talent that could be unleashed after successful surgery or a move to a different team.  Don’t be afraid of setting off a bomb, but at least do your homework to identify these prospects.  You will also want to take a peek at teams’ depth charts.

Review depth charts to identify players that may lose their starting jobs.  See who is below starters on the depth chart, and then research their talent and potential to find out if they’re capable of claiming the job.  This applies mostly to players who are old, have had consecutive down years, and closers.

Unless they are a Mariano Rivera or a robot pitcher with nasty “stuff,” closers have a good chance of losing their job during the season.  Research which closers may be on shaky ground and target their successor on the depth chart.  Keen picks in the Diamonds in the Rough stage will make you look like a sleeper genius.

Stay tuned for Part III:  Third Base – Know Your Enemy!

Next up is free agency at midnight tonight. I have no doubt in my mind that the Redskins will spend big again during this free agency period. The big question that will be answered in the next couple of weeks is who is actually running the franchise?

For years Daniel Snyder has had the final say on football decisions. Those decisions have lead to the following: Deion Sanders on a 7 year deal when he was 34 (or something stupid like that). I think the Redskins are still paying Prime Time. He signed Bruce Smith when he was 1,000 years old. Snyder went after Randle El on a big money deal that he never ever lived up to. The list goes on and on.

If horrible, big money, bad choices are still being made in the next couple of weeks, then I have to assume that Snyder is still running the show. If that’s the case, Redskins fans (yours truly included) will have no reason to continue their celebration that started with the hiring of Mike Shanahan and Bruce Allen. Allen is a former executive of the year in the NFL and Shanahan is a former two-time Super Bowl Champ. They will make better football decisions then a guy whose only experience comes from playing Madden Football on Sony Playstation.

I can only hope that after today’s purging of the roster that times-they-are-a-changin’ in D.C. The Redskins are a storied franchise in the NFL and when they are successful the NFL is better off. They are the second highest valued franchise in the league behind the Dallas Cowboys. They spend the most money in free agency every year. With a new general manager who prides himself on the draft and a head coach who likes free agents, it should make for an unusual dynamic. The pundits, myself included, have questioned how this will work.

Today it worked exactly the way it should. The new leaders of the team got together and made the tough choices that need to be made. These choices are necessary in order to make the Redskins what they are suppose to be, which is one of the best teams in the NFL.

However, there are a couple of things to watch out for Redskins fans. If the Redskins sign a washed up old free agent, then you know Daniel Snyder is really running things. If Daniel Snyder shows up at weekly press conferences again, then he is really running things. If Mike Shanahan runs out of his office screaming and swearing, then it’s apparent that Snyder is running things. So, watch out for those things, Skins Fans!

You play fantasy baseball to win.

In order to claim that virtual trophy and prize money, you must have a good start.  You must have a good draft.  If you struggle out of the gate like David Ortiz trying to get out of the batter’s box, then it will be a long six months.

But, if you follow the advice of a seven-year-pro fantasy baseball manager like me (three championship titles and two second place finishes), then you’ll save yourself the time and money trying to fix it.  I’ll take you there, base by base, and give you all the inside tips and tricks to hit a grand slam.

Play ball!

First Base – Be a Good Student

Do your homework.  Be prepared.  Study hard.  Pull all-nighters.  Cheat off your neighbor.  Get drunk and wake up not knowing where you are.  Yes, all these things help, but to be a champion, you’ll have to stay after school and do extra credit.  Sucking up to the teacher, a.k.a. me, won’t guarantee a win, but a few boxes of Mounds sent my way may help (dark chocolate + coconut = mouthgasm).

All the information you need can be found on MLB.com or the official website of MLB teams.  Explore the sites to find news on players, injuries, call-ups, depth charts, etc.

There are many draft strategies you could use, but for the sake of simplicity, choose either to draft a team focused on batting or pitching.  I suggest batting.  Then, do your research.

Statistically, batters are more consistent than pitchers from year to year.  Consistently good or consistently bad.  A review of their past three seasons should give you a decent, but not guaranteed, prediction of their future production as long as the following changes didn’t occur in those three seasons or recently:

• Park (blessing or curse to batters)
• Manager (different offensive strategies = different batter production)
• League, division, or team (new opponents, new line-ups, new challenges)
• Health (recent surgery, pending surgery, injury-prone)

Research your targets to see if these changes occurred, note how the changes can affect batters, and strategize accordingly.

There are certain batting positions with shallower pools of talent and production:  catcher, second base, and shortstop.  You have two choices:  spend a high draft pick to snatch a player from these shallow positions or wait later to select one that might not help you as much, but won’t hurt you.

You could also grab the top players at a shallow position to make yourself the source of talent for that position.  You’ll be in the driver’s seat for trades since any team that wants that position will have to go through you.

Don’t try to be balanced.  No team can be balanced.  If you try to be balanced, then you will not have true strengths in any area.  Focus on either batting or pitching, and then work to improve the other through free agency or trades.  Yet, you should be balanced in batting, if that is your strength, as you’ll want your batters to get statistics in all five categories (R, HR, RBI, SB, AVG).

Research each position to decide which players have the best chance of quality, consistent production, staying healthy, and staying on their team throughout the season.  A trade could throw off their statistics.

List your top ten players at each batting position.  One final tip:  batters are historically most productive from the ages of 25 to 30, experiencing their most productive year at age 27.

Now, it’s time to put your homework to work.  Stick around for Part II:  Second Base – Draft Wisely!

But quite recently, and by that we mean a week or two ago, we heard tell of this web spun by an unfortunate man who answers to the name of John Coomer.

When I was little, I was always told I was intelligent enough to decide on the issues – my feelings regarding hot dog ownership among them – and decide them I did, with a maturity that was uncharacteristic for my age. I didn’t listen to the lamestream media, nor anti-hot dog organizations such as the ICAHV (Illinois Council Affirming Haughty Vegetarianism), nor my teachers.

That’s why J.C.’s tale of woe caught my eye. I’ve been a firm believer in the truth that hot dogs don’t kill retinas, baseball-loving furries that don’t dress them properly do.

During a Royals game late last year, Johnny C’s right eye fell victim to what we can only describe as the most expensive money shot we ever want to see. As our fateful event unfolded, the mascot dropped the air gun and switched to manual with the Oscar Mayers. Sluggerrr’s throwing skills, which possibly originate from a failed attempt to survive the bush leagues, made one thing clear: This fur suit dude had a choice. He could either stand his ground with the piece – like people can do in Florida when their lives are threatened – or his job would die painfully.

He chose the latter; Howser’s boys, if Coomer’s detached retina has any say in it, will be short twenty-five thousand smackers come judge’s decision time.

Because of this, and during his time on the employment DL, I have no doubt the artist formerly known as Sluggerrr has become intimately acquainted with CareerBuilder. I have no doubt it’s extremely difficult to find a job what with unemployment in the double digits. Job prospecting doesn’t get any harder than it is now, even with a brand spankin’ new Bachelor’s degree, as a good friend of mine is still finding out.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

If anything, the ruling to be handed down in the Coomer case is going to draw influence from the Supreme Court’s coming decision on Miller v. Chicago. The latest SCOTUS happening to strike the conservative blogosphere since Radar Online pulled news of John Roberts’ retirement from a Cracker Jack box, this case deals directly with the 14th Amendment and its power to strike down unjust beef processing on the state and local levels.

Miller v. Chicago will be the latest in a string of hot dog ownership cases to reach our nine justices, one that is studded with such notables as last year’s D.C. v. Hebrew National. Two hundred and eighteen years after the fact, it promises to make even clearer the implications of 1950’s Johnsonville v. Eisentrager majority opinion. It’s been a long time in coming, but should things work out the way we think they will it will be unclear no more. The right to keep and bear ‘dogs has always, will then, and should forever be applied to ordinary Americans such as Coomer and the guy in the Slugger costume.

Not, as I’ve heard some people tell me, to a military or police force.

We couldn’t be happier at the implications of this case, but we’re sure Mayor Daley of Chicago and Rajendra Pachauri of the IPCC are fuming already. Both are well known anti-hot dog crusaders, the latter being known to us at Parcbench as a man who wants the world free of meat eaters by decade’s end.

To them and the other hot dog grabbers out there, I say: Y’all keep dreamin! You can take my hot dog when you pry it from my cold dead eye!

Well, wasn’t that an interesting mental picture.

You couldn’t tell up here in North Jersey, but baseball’s spring training is underway down in Florida and Arizona.

Baseball is America’s pastime. Kids dream of playing in the big leagues, hell I still dream of playing in the big leagues, and rest assured there isn’t (and never was) any chance of that happening.

In the dead of winter, things are cold, soaked, and dark. Nothing is very exciting, it seems. There are plenty of sports to be had, including this year’s Olympics and college basketball.

Oh yeah, that’s right there is that junk league called the NBA as well. However, it just never feels like Spring until the players report to their spring training homes. That’s when you know this horrible winter is about to come to an end and finally, baseball is back.

This year features my New York Yankees as defending world champions. They have a lot to prove this year as well. Their two biggest stars in Derek Jeter and Mo Rivera are both going to be free agents after this season. Granted, most likely they will re-sign but for how long? And how much will be determined by how they play this season?

There are also some new faces in pinstripes this year. Curtis Granderson, Javier Vasquez, Randy Winn, Marcus Thames, and Chan Ho Park are all new to the team. The Champs will be without Melky Cabrera and Johnny Damon from last year’s championship squad. The Yankees still have the best team on paper, and it will be up to skipper Joe Girardi to bring it all together for another World Series win. No pressure for Joe though, who is also in the last year of his deal.

The rest of the league has some very interesting stories as well.

Mark McGwire, fresh off of his steroid admission (wow shocker) is the new hitting coach for a very talented Cardinals team that features a one-two punch in Albert Pujols and Matt Holliday. Can McGwire help an already talented lineup reach it’s full potential? I think he has a wealth of knowledge to share with the team. Sure, he cheated. He also has learned a ton over the years on how to hit. He helped out Holliday before he was with the Cards and it is only going to carry over for the rest of the guys this year. It’s good for baseball for McGwire to be back in the game.

There are some high profile rookie pitchers that for the first time in a long time could make an impact on their big league clubs this season. Stephen Strasburg, the first overall pick of last year’s draft could be ready by June of this year. That’s just sick. The kid is 19 years old and ready to pitch in the big leagues already. I can’t wait to watch him pitch.

The Cincinnati Reds acquired Cuban defector Aroldis Chapman. He has never pitched in the big leagues but he was outstanding in the last baseball classic. The Reds are betting on this kids success. They signed him to a $30.25 million deal.  A little crazy for a team that has a total payroll of $70 million, but hey, what do I know? Right?

Johnny Damon is the new example of what happens when a player listens to an idiot agent. He wanted to be a Yankee. The Yankees wanted him back at two years and $20 million. His agent Scott Boras told him he could get him a 4-year, $40 million deal. Of course that was a joke, and he is now on the Tigers for one year and $8 million. Pretty costly mistake if you ask me.

The last thing that interests me is how the blockbuster Cliff Lee, Roy Halladay trade is going to work out in the end. I felt right from the get-go that the Phillies are actually a worse team now that Lee is gone and Halladay is in. I also feel like the Seattle Mariners will win the AL West with Cliff Lee and Chone Figgins on the team now.

Only time will tell but the season is upon us and winter is almost gone! Thank god because I can’t wait to get to the ball park this year.

Tiger Woods took home the silver medal for the United States, and Toyota’s Akio Toyoda earned the gold for Japan in the Men’s Downhill Apologizing event in Vancouver. Earning the bronze was Canada’s Wippy Stevens.

The Men’s Downhill Apology event is a recent addition to the Winter Olympics, testing an athlete’s ability to apologize in a grand fashion while his entire life and career go down the tubes.

Judges praised Tiger Woods’ performance, citing his self-control and well-practiced routine. He lost points for not taking enough risks and refusing to perform for 80 percent of the audience.

“Tiger’s performance was just a bit too short,” said Sports Illustrated Olympic Analyst Will Muir, “He just didn’t put himself out there enough. This is the Olympics. You have to let it all hang out. He definitely earned the silver. It was a performance you just couldn’t stop watching.”

The real talk of the Downhill Apologizing event was Akio Toyoda, who wowed the audience with his seemingly endless stream of apologies as he sank deeper and deeper into the guttural depths of public dissatisfaction.

“I think I counted an astonishing 58 ‘I’m Sorry’s,’” said Olympic panelist Steve Driehaus, “They just poured out of his mouth like the filling of my taco last night. The taco was really overstuffed.”

Toyoda’s torrent of apologies for quality and safety lapses in his company’s cars electrified a packed house as the company’s vehicles are increasingly becoming four-wheeled albatrosses around the necks of their doomed owners.

An emotional Toyoda thanked his family and his countrymen for supporting him, and he apologized.

“This is an emotional moment for me,” said Toyoda, “I am sorry for getting so emotional. Thank you to my family. I am sorry that I got a B- in physical science 37 years ago. Excuse me, Mr. Woods. I am sorry I am standing a little to close to your place on the platform. I am sorry for not having this shirt starched before presenting myself. I have more apologies, but I must return to my hotel room to apologize to room service for my substandard tip.”

Not much is known about the Canadian upstart Wippy Stevens, who earned the bronze medal, only that he spilled his soda on the person next to him and delivered a solid, “Dude, I’m sorry.”

Read more satire at The Endive…

It seems like an easy choice for an organization – The player’s production goes down while his salary goes up.  Emotionally, however, the decision is anything but simple. Relationships are formed and friendships built during these players’ tenures with their teams.

In LT’s case, he is the most decorated San Diego Charger there ever was. To say that AJ Smith, Dean Spanos, and Norv Turner’s hearts were heavy while making this decision has to be an understatement.  Ultimately, it’s a business and it had to be done.

Tomlinson was not surprised by being cut lose from the only NFL Team he has played for.

“It was a long time coming, but I knew it was coming,” Tomlinson said, according to SI.com, “Now that it’s official I can kind of look to the next step in my career and playing football for someone else.”

That’s what’s important for both of these two running backs. They are both 30 years old, but can still be productive in a reduced role.

It’s a good thing when a 30-year-old running back moves on and is productive some where else. Of course I can’t remember the last time a 30+ running back went to another team and was productive. Oh yeah, Marcus Allen did it in Kansas City. He even won comeback player of the year in 1993. Of course that’s the only one I can remember.

LT’ and Westbrook’s situation’s are different from the other running backs who have switched teams after 30. They can both catch passes. It was a huge part of both of their games. Westbrook was basically a better pass catcher than pure runner, and LT could do it all. Other teams value veterans with leadership capabilities that can bring some productivity to their teams.

There are several teams out there that would be much better off if they add either one of these guys.

The Vikings will most likely lose Chester Taylor their pass catching 3rd down back in free agency. In the league today you have to have two solid running backs and wow, would either one of these guys complement Adrian Peterson. I am sure either one would want to play with Favre.

The Saints could use either Westbrook or Tomlinson if Reggie Bush and Pierre Thomas depart the team. Brees and the Saints love to pass the ball. It’s a possible fit.

The Eagles could even pick up LT. He would be much cheaper then the $7.5 million they were going to have to pay Westbrook, and LT could slide right in where Westbrook left off.

These are just a few landing spots for these two fading backs. Of course there is always the possibility that Westbrook may retire. We will just have to wait and see. The bottom line is that there will be some sort of market for these two guys.

Every team needs two solid running backs, preferably one that can play on third down by either blocking, or catching the ball out of the back field. These guys can do that.

The focus was on a lone podium with an audience of family and friends, but no reporters.

I was stiffing my bias and the questions that whirled around my mind: Will Elin be there? Will he be contrite or combative? Will he walk out after his statement on the mend or a forever-broken man?

All this week, the media pondered and suggested that Tiger was going into this first public forum after months of stories of his affairs as a means to control the spin. I made mention on my Thursday show that the first post-rehab photo of Woods was with his trainer in full Nike regalia. As late as this morning, pics of his wife, Elin, showed her from head to toe in Swooshwear.

I feared that this was just media claptrap. Instead, he was alone. No logo, no suit, no flashbulbs. Just a man ready to take this first, and necessary step to apologize to a once-fawning public.

Virtually from the moment Tiger began his statement, I observed a man that had never before appeared before me. He was human, and while his statement was written, I believe it to be sincere. He humbly called out to his wife, to his children and to his family. He admitted he needed help. No longer was the chiseled god but a flawed person with troubles to which we could all relate.

His statement was not without scorn or disdain – but it was not a mechanism of self defense. Woods came out strongly against the media and their relentless pursuit of the salacious details of his torrid affairs. He warned those who stalked his wife and children to back off.

Tiger asked for understanding in the area of his foundation, citing all the good that has been done for children and young adults who have benefited from Woods dedication to opportunity for those less fortunate. Any personal transgression should not undo all the positive progress he represented for over a decade.

Woods also stated that the events leading up to his car accident this past Thanksgiving were between he and his wife. The road back to his family was personal and would not be on display for those eager to experience through vicarious eyes.

And rightfully so.

He made a statement that he would return to golf, perhaps not soon or this year, but he would be back. Other than a mention of a sponsor of an upcoming event, there were no ’shout outs’ and high fives. Tiger said that he would continue his therapy and the personal healing necessary to normalize his life. In the end, even he couldn’t keep up with the enormous persona known as Tiger Woods Inc.

Woods concluded his message without fanfare and walked silently towards his mother. After a long embrace and a few more greetings, he left the room – quiet and alone.

Since his amateur days, I have always admired Tiger’s God-given ability. Today, I respect him for doing the right thing – and wish him luck.

-

Michael Fidanza is the managing editor at Parcbench and the host of The Armchair Energist Show which can be seen weekdays on Livestream.com and heard on RFC Radio.