New York City’s David H. Koch Theater (that’s right — David Koch gets well-deserved respect in NYC!) was the site of the New York City Ballet Spring Gala and a bit of tired, retro-guerrilla theater last Wednesday evening. The anti-Tea Party group Brave New Foundation held what they called a “rebranding” of the theater while the black-tie crowd enjoyed the greatest ballet company in America.

The hundred or so demonstrators gathered at the Lincoln Center theater to watch a series of short films critical of the Koch brother’s political views. The protesters must not have gotten their invitations to the Gala because by the time they showed up (after 8pm) the entertaining soireé had been under way for an hour. So if they were trying to time their trite “happening” with the red-carpet paparazzi coverage, they failed. Which is why you probably have heard nothing about this attempt to embarrass one of the greatest private funders of the arts in New York City today.

It must drive the patrons in the thoroughly liberal Upper West Side of New York City crazy to have to walk past the newly renovated theater where the New York City Ballet performs that bears Koch’s name. After all, Koch is proudly conservative. “They might as well have named it the ‘Rush Limbaugh Theater’ or the ‘Glenn Beck Theater,’” said one critic when the theater was renamed.

But it was Koch’s money that provided the much-needed renovation in the first place. After all, states like New York aren’t exactly rolling in excess revenue these days, what with their failed policies and inability to reel in spending that they refuse to control. What’s a New York City cultural institution to do? Let me think — maybe take the money and be grateful that some nasty conservative cares enough to hand over a $100 million check? Thankfully, someone did; Reynold Levy, president of Lincoln Center, described the pledge as “a very important statement about the importance and the future of performing arts in this country.”

But the protesters lobbyied to have Koch’s name removed from the theater. They called the Koch Brothers “evil geniuses with billions of dollars and a deeply formed political agenda capable of changing the course of history and democracy.” They brought ladders and added a sign reading “I am the Tea Party’s wallet” to the name plate of the theater, as they chanted “We’re here because we love the Earth and we love our city. This must stop!” Frankly, I think they could use a script-doctor. That slogan is just a little clunky and has no correlation to their grievance. Come on people, this is Lincoln Center — you need to rewrite that script. So I guess these clever New York liberals are exercising their right to free speech in their attempt to deny Koch his right to free speech. For the record, David Koch has given his private money to more than just libertarian political causes. He donated $100 million for cancer research, $20 million to the American Museum of Natural History, and $20 million to John’s Hopkins University’s medical campus. Mr. Koch also supports science-related projects including funding of the long-running PBS documentary series, “Nova,” and a science and technology center at Deerfield Academy in Massachusetts. Mr. Koch’s $15 million gift to the Smithsonian’s National Museum of Natural History in Washington, D.C., created the David H. Koch Hall of Human Origins. The 15,000-square-foot exhibit offers visitors an immersive and interactive museum experience.

So someone please remind me if “Generosity” is a “Deadly Sin.” I thought not.

(Above: Patti LuPone and Wendy Whelan in “The Seven Deadly Sins.”)

On the inside on the theatre, the theatrics were decidedly more sophisticated. Patti LuPone made her New York City Ballet debut as she sang (belted? …assaulted? how about imperiously gargled?) Kurt Weill and Bertolt Brecht’s “Seven Deadly Sins,” while ballerina Wendy Whelan danced exquisitely (as made you forget that Broadway’s LuPone was even onstage). The ballet itself was a big bore, but the evening was young; there was another sublime ballet, “Vienna Waltzes,” also on the bill.

In yet another failed attempt to sabotage the ballet, the protesters were back on Saturday evening. They placed slips of paper inside the ballet’s programme, announcing that David Koch was performing in the place of certain dancers as a few of the “Sins.” Hardy-har-har… As most regular theatre-goers know, no one pays attention to these union-required understudy slips in the first place. They are virtually meaningless when an audience member encounters them anyway — because at that point no one has any idea what any character is. So, there they were, littering the floor and getting no attention.

The real highlight of the evening was the return to the stage of George Balanchine’s festive, romantic and glitzy ballet “Vienna Waltzes.” If there was ever a ballet to witness before gathering for a Gala supper and dancing, it is this tribute to the glory days of the Strauss waltz.

Like I said, the protesters failed… and the band played on, beautifully, at the ballet.

The Red Carpet…

David and Julia Koch at the (April 2009) dedication of the David H. Koch Theater at
 Lincoln Center…

Vanessa Williams hits the red carpet…

Sarah Jessica Parker with husband Matthew Broderick. The ‘Sex And The City’ actress wore a Valentino Pre-Fall 2011 dress…

Brooke Shields wore an interesting dress… or did it wear her?

The real beauty can be found onstage of course, but once in awhile a ballerina (in this case Ashley Bouder) gets the Gala night off and gets to grace the red carpet…

And then there was fashion designer Betsey Johnson, who appeared on the red carpet accessorizing with a model on a leash. Or was it a protester who showed up early, maybe? Since the ballet was performing “The Seven Deadly Sins,” the model had “Anger” written on her chest in case anyone missed the point.

Well, at least Betsey proved that the City Ballet red carpet isn’t nearly as dull as the Met Opera’s (across the Lincoln Center Plaza). To keep things classy, however, there were certain attendees that proved New York City is still eternally chic. For example, Carmen Dell’Orefice proves that class is forever…

And then there’s yours truly, who goes to the ballet whether it’s a Gala or not… and whether there’s a billionaire’s name on the theater or not…